ten rules.

the house in which i grew up was a prayerful one. we have prayer cards in nearly every room, my parents are ultra active in the church, we subscribed to catholic/christian books and newsletters, and we prayed the rosary every time we drove more than fifteen minutes. one time, when i was young, my dad and i drove to texas to see my brothers, and guess what he thought was the most splendid idea ever?

"okay sarah, this is what we're going to do -- pray a rosary for every state we drive though!"

and when germain says something like this, you say - will you be leading or shall i?

(for those of you keeping track, we did indeed say the rosary in nebraska, kansas, oklahoma & texas. that's some quality father/daughter road-tripping.)

some folks have readers digest magazines in their bathrooms...not the engelbert household. we have 'guideposts'. which actually came in handy when my dad decided i should 'make hour' with him anytime i was on a school break or back from college. this is what the catholics officially call 'perpetual adoration'. my home church, st. bonaventure, has had someone praying at church 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year for over fifty years. my dad just celebrated his 50th anniversary, with most of the 'hours' being in the middle of the night -- in my lifetime, it's been from 2:00 a.m. to 3:00 a.m. tuesday mornings. those 'guideposts' were my saving grace since praying the rosary - aloud while pacing the church - only took about 15 minutes of the hour...

where am i going with all of this, you wonder. no, i have not decided to become a nun a mere three weeks before the wedding. but i HAVE decided to give some merit to this whole prayer card notion. so what did i do? i walked myself into the catholic store down the street & found myself a prayer card to start my married life on the right foot.

this puppy was shining like a beacon of light..............

"a wife's daily prayer"

since the card mentions being thrifty, it does me a favor & gives me a bonus! on the BACK, in large print it says:

"TEN RULES for a Happy and Successful Wife"

well i'll be darn. i want to be happy! i want to be successful!

how can i accomplish this? how can all you wives out there accomplish this?

allow me to divulge....

1. Avoid Arguments. Your husband has his share from other sources.

no problem. i already learned this from my sponsor couple: wait at least for 24 hours. and then we can talk all about our feelings.

2. Don't nag.

pssh. who me?

3. Don't drink or eat to excess.

i love how 1940s this is --- my true generation. alas, i will rid the house of microwave popcorn & peanut m&ms. when they say 'drink', they surely can't mean wine because even the bible finds wine acceptable. the verdict is still out on the legitimacy of this 'rule'....

4. If you offend your husband, always ask forgiveness before you retire.

this one is truly something joel and i have tried to uphold since the very beginning. no arguments from this non-nagging bride to be on this rule.

5. Compliment your husband liberally. It makes him a better husband.

:)

6. Budget wisely together. Live within your income.

this will be a new experience for us --- JOINT savings, JOINT checking, JOINT bills. pray for us on this one.

7. Be sociable and go out with your husband.

who am i to turn down a date?!

8. Dress neatly and attractively for your husband, and keep your home clean and cheerful.

this makes me want to wear an apron & pearls & bake pies every day. i suppose not pies, because that might violate rule three...

9. Keep your household troubles to yourself.

i wonder if i can vent to harvey....surely that doesn't count? at least during the 24 hour 'grace period'? no?

10. Pray together and stay together.

to me, this is like peanut butter & jelly. mashed potatoes and gravy. microwave popcorn & m&ms for that matter....

so there you have it. ten simple rules.

i'm not sure if i can pull off the prayer card notion like my mom, but heck, if the shoe fits, i figure i had better slip it on for a while. unless of course, it's the two-tone pair of chanels i have been dreaming about for over five years --- driving me STRAIGHT into violation of rule six. sigh.

houston, we have a typo.

"go ahead and cry."

these were the words uttered by my future mother-in-law.

we were about a dozen programs into the assembly process. i was meticulously placing a new cover page between the two cuttlebug plates.....which, by the way, is the coolest crafty invention EVER. aunt tricia - aka my invitation angel - had the brilliant idea to emboss parts of both the invitation and envelope! i now want to emboss everything in my house. and i'm not kidding.... now, where was i? oh yes, the embossing card flap was carefully closed over part of the cover sheet & placed between the two cuttlebug plates. just as i was about to put it through the ringer, literally - that's how you emboss, i saw it. dun dun DUN.

THE typo.

really, it wasn't a typo so much as a margin malfunction.

regardless, there it was. in all of it's texting lingo glory.

"U".

not YOU. just U.

just U was nearly blinding me on the online-ordered-and-completely-used-up-in-the-printing-of-these-programs paper.

just

U

"go ahead and cry."

so yes, while a quilt & silverware chest DO have the capability of making me cry, this JUST U apparently only enticed me to swear. a lot.

there is one invitation store in des moines. they do not carry stardream text paper in opal. as if. we decided to drive over there anyway to see what in the world we could come up with for plan B. it turns out the invitations store has a smaller selection of 8 1/2 x 11 'fancy' paper than my favorite superstore, wally world. plan C? there is an office max in the same little shopping center. we talk to a nice lady, eileen, at the printing desk, and she proceeds to show us our options. roxanne suggests we scrap the whole let's-try-to-find-something-close-to-stardream-opal-metallic and opt for a CONTRASTING cover page.

cue: pretty gold metallic CARD STOCK.

so, not only are we going for a different color, we are using a different paper weight. why the heck not. joel had done a quick edit to the program he helped me layout so that there were 3 cover pages on an 8 1/2 x11 page. all eileen needs to do is plug that little thumbdrive into her PC and print & cut & viola. turns out the blasted font i picked for the majority of the program isn't compatible to their software. so i call my darling and interrupt their basement work so that he can save it as a .pdf that poor eileen could work with --- mind you, i was keeping my bridal zen going. i contribute this to the 100+ degree yoga class roxanne & i attended that morning...

needless to say, two hours from the time we had discovered JUST U, we were back at the cuttlebug with plan C. and i must say, i loooooove the gold cardstock.

never one to waste anything, roxanne decided we must do something with all of the poor, lowly, tainted JUST U cover pages. and so we did. cue the seating cards for the head table and immediate family members!

also never one to be understated, roxanne thinks a pearl is JUST the finishing touch. i, of course, never turn down a pearl.

now truly --- look at the bottom of that card --- don't you just want to emboss your life?! i'm obsessed.

next on the agenda? the SECOND most anticipated day for this bride-to-be since joel slipped that gorge (he LOVES when i talk 'tween) ring on my finger....

i can't WAIT to give a full report on this jam-packed agenda; my matron has compiled ALL of my favorite things into one glorious day - WITH my favorite people. yes, i am one lucky LUCKY girl.

p.s. to my loved ones, please please please visit our website or call my sweet, dear mother (or MOTB as she has been signing emails -- isn't that adorable?!) with your rsvp. :)

p.p.s. my parents have taken over the lace lantern making since i am no longer on speaking terms with wallpaper paste, lace cut-outs & balloons. my dad has really been bonding with those balloons....he has even gone so far as to allude to the fact that he would rather spend time with harvey. which would ultimately mean 'hell hath frozen over'. so comments such as "my goodness, those are the most delightful and enchanting things i've ever laid eyes on" while you're at the reception will be graciously accepted. we might even act surprised. ;)

stay tuned for my next post regarding "ten rules for a happy and successful wife" according to the prayer card i picked up at the catholic store the other day. it led me to wonder why there wasn't a 'happy wife, happy life' prayer card... hmph.

;)

surprise 'guests'

twenty six days. i just logged in to post, and the little countdown clock ang added to the layout of this blog eagerly displayed TWENTY SIX days. completely and utterly surreal.

"so is everything all wrapped up?"

"are you all ready for the big day?"

"what REALLY is there left to do?"

these are questions i hear on a daily basis.

i simply smile and answer respectively...

"uhhh NO."

'loud chuckle' followed by a look that says - are you kidding me?!

"ummm....i have a 'to do before i do' list in the double digits."

so there you go. twenty six days, eh? bring it on. :)

i CAN officially say, however, that the shower season has officially wrapped up!

three of my favorite girls in the world - also in the bridal party - came to columbus from sioux falls and omaha to join us! they drove in friday night, and we gathered around our big dining room table in the home i grew up - one which my parents built in 1963 - and poured wine and played catch up. my mom even took a spot at the head of the table and listened as we carried on about all things female. slumber parties and giggling are FAR too underrated. in typical fashion, the words and the wine went long, and we stayed up way past curfew....

my dress gal - that's what i have grown to call her - showed up at 8:00 a.m. on the dot the following morning. she is my cousin's sister-in-law and a retired teacher that has lived on a farm her whole life. let's just say, these aren't your typical bridal shoppe alterations sessions. :) she looked at all the girls in their dresses and noted any adjustments necessary. she's also adding a sash & brooch-like piece to the front. AND....dun da da da!....she brought over my finished VEIL. alllllllllllllllllllll of that tulle. with lace trim.

i die.

that aisle at st. bon's won't know what to do with itself.

mary the dress gal was still working on my bustle at 10:15 a.m. the only problem with this is that a) i was still IN the dress and b) the shower was kicking off at 11:00. mary finally dismissed me, and i was off in a mad flurry - one has to be presentable when being the center of attention!

i had a lovely bridal shower hosted by my aunts last weekend in my hometown. it was held in the parish center and had delish muffins (which, luckily for me, did NOT count as sweets according to my mom. i gave up sweets for lent & i grumble to myself nearly every day. pout.), fruit and coffee. the ideal brunch food groups if you ask me.

i was SO thankful to my cousins and aunts that came to celebrate with me -- some traveling from surrounding cities! it's all so surreal to be the center of attention and express utter glee in opening a NINJA blender in front of a group of women. this is what they call bridal bliss. i was SO dang excited about that blender among all the other delightful kitchen and home-making gifts. i also received my first piece for my place settings! seeing that beautiful pattern in person and knowing that it will one day be a part of hosting a big family gathering just makes me plain giddy!

now, when we initially arrived at the parish center, my mom toted in three packages. i tsk tsk'd her because, my goodness, she has done MORE than enough throughout this whole process. as i was unwrapping gifts, my aunt handed me one of the gifts my mom brought in; i opened the card to the bag and saw that it wasn't from my mom after all. inside the gift bag was a beautiful & meticulously stitched quilt. done by the hands of my grandma mary who passed away when i was in high school. she came to america by herself from germany at the age of 18 to take care of children on a farm in nebraska. i will forever remember her as an eternally optimistic woman with a distinct german accent. she loved to play cards, host gatherings for her family and QUILT. she oftentimes had a quilting stand in her living room in humphrey, nebraska. when she moved to the nursing home, they would assemble a large quilting stand in the living room as you entered the building. EVERYONE loved grandma mary. apparently. she made a quilt for each of her grandchildren when she was alive, and Mom has been saving it for me all these years. now tell me, what spare bedroom is every going to be good enough for THAT?! :)

a few more wonderful gifts were opened & ooohed & ahhhed over, and then my aunt handed me another package my mom brought in. i opened this one & immediately recognized it. inside was an old wooden silverware chest with one silverware setting and a note my mom gave me on behalf of my grandma rosie ---- wishing me many happy hosting events, just as she loved to do; she passed a way when i was a junior in college. my grandma rosie & grandpa tony lived five houses down the street from me as i was growing up. she was the one that took care of me when mom & dad needed a babysitter. she made the best pies & sugar cookies you have ever tasted, and she let me put as MANY sprinkles on my cookies as i wanted. all of my aunts & uncles went over to their house for sunday dinner & cards every week. she could peel an apple in one long strip. she would always read me the school lunch menu from the bulletin every saturday night after mass and giggle and giggle when we reached the day where peas were served. i HATED peas. she taught me how to play gin rummy & i taught her king's corner. she would let me sit on her lap as we looked through the american girl and jc penney catalogs, and i would point out alllll the things i REALLY wanted.

so after this second surprise gift, what do you know, this bride starts crying.

seriously america, if i'm this much of a bawl baby at a joyous SHOWER, what am i going to do come april 13th??! just warning y'all. and i may have to do some serious shopping for 'weather-proof' makeup. recommendations welcome. sheesh.

here are a couple pics from the shower...(don't worry, i started tanning. i will NOT match my dress)...

afterward, we snuck over to the church to see the painting progress. my oh my is it....vibrant. gone are the earth tones of taupe and ecru and gold. hello BLUES! and REDS! and MUSTARD! and gold. i have been told that it won't be finished in time for Easter, thus, it will not be finished in time for my nuptial mass. sigh. the priests have made several announcements at mass and in the bulletin to refrain from coming in & talking to the painters as they work. father mike went so far as to approach my dad after mass & shake his finger at him. my dad? talk? to strangers? pshhhh. ;) let's just hope my fabulous photographers will be able to avoid the scaffolding....

coming up next.........tackling the programs.........easy task, right? about as easy as having 'everything wrapped up' twenty six days out.

:)

FOCCUS

remember my 'not just 20 quesitons' post?? let's go ahead and revisit that....


foccus stands for 'Facilitating Open Couple Communication Understanding and Study'. sounds like fun, huh? we spent several wednesday evenings with our sponsor couple from saint francis as a required part of marriage prep through the catholic church. i was a little worried how my social butterfly would handle talking about all personal matters under the sun with complete strangers, but he totally surprised me! it helped that our couple was real. they weren't perfect. their marriage isn't always perfect. but it, too, is real. they gave so much helpful advice and told stories that related to daily interaction between any committed couple.

i must also admit, it was fun to see how each of us answered questions...every time we would get to a new section, and dan would begin to read the overview of the topics covered, i could see both of us trying to peer across the table and see if our filled circles aligned. when we didn't agree with each other, the program writes a serious of discussion topics in the margin. some sections were really 'clean'. some........not so much. for a couple that can't seem to agree on music, movies, most television shows, books, fashion... i'll take it. ;)

let me walk you through one "disagreement".


statement:
nothing my future spouse does annoys me.


agree
disagree
indifferent


joel: agree
sarah: disagree


of course, joel turns and gives me a smiling, yet accusatory look.


come on people....nothing??!!....NOTHING???!!! nothing in the whole wide world gets on your nerves??!!


for the record, he had told me JUST the prior evening that i TYPE TOO LOUD.
i type too loud!
and apparently i'm not supposed to leave lights on in rooms i leave (even for a teensy moment).
and i won't even go into when i helped haul all the 2x4s for the basement finishing project (which he conveniently started in the midst of wedding planning...men...playful eyeroll) and i had a bit of wood-to-walls/doorframe proximity issues....


nooooooooooooo. nothing bothers joel.
;)


i received many valuable pieces of advice from jeanette:


for instance, i actually do have to give joel time to digest things we might disagree on or items we heavily discuss. apparently he might not be ready to 'talk it out' right away (doesn't talking ALWAYS make it better??!!). i agreed to give him 24 hours. at 24 hours & one minute, i may squeeze out his feelings.


another tid bit. i can only ask/approach three items. anything over three, and men tune us out (as if). so, she says she mentally priortizes things in her mind throughout the day --- if it's not 'top 3' importance, she'll wait for the next day or two. good thing that's not the case for men, or joel never would have been able to address my LOUD TYPING. (still hmph-ing).


yet another...we can "rank" things we say. "sarah, your typing is really loud, and it bothers me---i'm talking a 10". but they said (staring directly at me) that **not everything can be a 10**. what....they think i'm dramatic?? ;)


we had many good laughs, intense discussions, and great advice received in our time with our sponsor couple. we spent a lot of time talking about problem-solving, communication, family, children and most importantly religion. we talked about things that we most likely would not have discussed without, how shall i say this, every-wednesday-meetings we had to attend in order to have the church's blessing. and for that, i'm actually quite grateful. i know my fiance is an extraordinary man and father. i know i love him so, and he feels the same. and i now know that we can compromise and more fully understand one another and our expectations when it comes to everything our future may hold. i also know that i'm so eternally grateful that God gave me this almost-husband.


so it was truly a rewarding experience. i think even my darling not-so-wallflower would agree.
but i'm sure i still type too loud.